Today I want to open an issue I have greatly been struggling with in the past year. And I am greatly curious to know if any of you do as well. Some days I feel very alone in this issue!
First of all, there are bascially 2 kinds of people. Task Oriented and People Oriented. You know the types. ( and I might be stereotyping, but this is just what I have seen from observing)
Task Oriented: These people are usually terrific organizers, have amazing talent at work, can get LOTS of things done in a day, and feel proud on looking over their accomplishments. They have interaction with people, but don't consider themselves "amazingly social" If given a choice of surveying various people on their opinions about certain products, or accomplishing a detailed organizing project at work un-interrupted, they would most likely choose the latter.
People Oriented: These people are usually un-organized, cluttered and messy, but always have time for hospitality, friends and family. They spend hours visiting and catching up on people's lives. They take a deep interest in others. They are good at jobs which involve contact with customers. They feel neglected when arequired to work alone, and love the interaction of daily habits. They are always ready to push aside tasks for quality time with the ones they love.
Now aside from some stereotypes, are you following me so far? I think we can agree we are usually one of the two.
My question is this: "How can a Task-Oriented person become a better Mother, when she'd rather accomplish a chore then spend time with her kids?"
Do any other task-oriented Mothers out there understand what I am talking about? About how guilt creeps up on you when you get a greater feeling of accomplishment from doing all your laundry, dishes and cleaning than from taking time to walk outside, read books or just play toys with your kids?
But, because I apporach life from a Task-Oriented perspective (I get accomplishment from doing things) How can I suddenly switch gears to gain accomplishment from just doing nothing with my kids? Quality time is important to them I know, but everytime I sit down and read or play with toys, my mind keep lingering on the pile of dishes yet to do, or the laundry waiting to be folded. And I gain no feeling of accomplishment until I do them.
I am at war with myself. Can anyone relate?
Until now I have been trying to get a good balance of the doing tasks and spending time with my kids. But I still feel guilty sometimes about doing one and not the other. I struggle with this a great deal.. anyone have some great advice for a mom looking to mean the world to her kids, while at the same time wanting to keep her sense of worth & accomplishment during the day?
